I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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