the condom got lost in my hair
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
