Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
