If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
