You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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