i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
