It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
