You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
