If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
