piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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