That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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