"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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