You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
