Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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