oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am one with the molecules
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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