Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
