i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize