I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Dear god my vagina.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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