Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
