im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
