i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
