I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
