let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize