I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
