How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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