U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
