There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
