the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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