THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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