thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
