You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
