You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
