I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
