she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
