i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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