Christians are straight up FREAKS
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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