would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
