Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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