you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
