I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize