Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
