I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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