Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
