Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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