I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
try to milk me bitch
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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