Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
