So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
