She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
