im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
