This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
