i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Too much gin, very little bucket
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize