And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
