I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
