Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
