Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
