So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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