he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
