I cockslap morals
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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