So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
