Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My pussy is not your playground.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
