She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
should my penis look like a turkey
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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