its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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