I'm lost and stupid without you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
