matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
