Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
